Have you ever had an experience with customer service where you were so frustrated that you wanted to pull your hair out and also pull the other person’s hair out too? I’m not a violent person by nature, but I almost wanted to do just that, but instead cried. Pretty sad eh? But that’s what happens when you feel completely helpless, disregarded and disconnected.

So a background to all of this. Deutsche Telekom is a German telecommunications company headquartered in Germany. Ironically, they also own severable subsidiaries, one of which is T-Mobile which I happily use and am a customer of in the US. One would think the services would be quite similar as Deutsche Telekom is the parent company? NEIN. Not one bit at all.

My story begins in August of 2017. Upon moving to Germany, the apartment had not been set up with internet. And so thus we called for a router to be processed for delivery and a service man to come install the internet. After waiting ~3 weeks or so, we call to follow up on the status of the delivery and surprise! Telekom had cancelled our order since the last name “NG” appeared to be supsicious and most likely a hoax/fraudulent person that generated this order. Lesson #1: Asian last names are not as common here and ones without any vowels can appear to be highly fake and thus should not be taken seriously.

We order the internet again and confirm that NG is in fact a real last name and thus a real person. Lesson #2: Internet service installers are booked out and so the earliest appointment that one can schedule is within 3-4 weeks. Waiting game begins. In the meantime, I am already 3 weeks without internet and am desperate and so I write a friendly note with English on one side and German translation on the other (with help of my sweet dear friend) requesting to see if any of my apartment neighbors on the same floor can be so kind to let me use their internet in exchange for some monetary compensation. Surprise Surprise, no response. Perhaps this Asian girl from California also appears highly suspicious and may have hidden tactical motives and abilities to hack their computers and steal all of their personal information. I’m that slick. And apparently threatening. Yes.

First vist– Alas! The time arrived! The Telekom man came! I was so giddy. You have no idea. I was so excited to finally be able to connect to my email, watch some YouTube videos to learn more Deutsche, look for some jobs, find some franimals to dog sit… the ideas were endleless. Telekom man arrives and left within 20 mintues because he couldn’t speak English and couldn’t find the basement of the apartment building. At this point, I realize learning German is pertinent to one’s survival and to minimze as much future frustration. No basement, no internet. After this visit, we also then learned that we had to coordinate with the hausemeister (house master) aka property manager to unlock the basement door in order for the Internet Man to complete the service. Please note that the hausemeister also does not speak  English and required several calls by a German friend to help coordinate since emails are not very efficient or effective here.

Second visit– After waiting another 3 weeks, we scheduled a visit; however both my husband and I were out of town. We called Telekom to see if there was an alternative and they assured us that we could provide a neighbor’s number for them to call. Our neighbor across the street (not the non-internet sharers) who kindly agreed to let the Internet Man in to complete the installation was thus on standbye. Internet Man came, decided to call our number instead of friend and left. After this unsuccessful visit which was attributed to Telekom’s poor communication, they notified us that any future unsuccessful visits would further incur a ~60 EUR charge for their time. We also followed up after the fact and they confirmed that technicians are only able to call the account holder’s number. Inconsistent information is difficult to follow guys, sorry.

Third visit– Another 3 weeks passes by. The weather was crisp and it seemed like the perfect day for internet to come. Internet Man arrived and went down to the basement. The basement door was unlocked; however, the Internet Man refused to go into the room claiming it was not the right one. He left. And we got a bill subsequently for this visit for their time. We verified with the hausemeister afterwards that the door we directed him to was the correct one. Fail #3.

Fourth visit– The sky was cloudy, but our spirits were high. It was now or never. I refused to let any language barrier, miscommunication OR incompetence to get in the way of my internet. I was desperate. The night before, we checked the basement door to confirm that the hausemeister had indeed unlocked it. It was locked! Oh noes. The next morning, we called him immediately to have someone unlock the door. Apparently, someone had locked it by accident the night before. The Internet Man was 10 minutes away and the hausemeister was over an hour away. By the grace of God, the cleaning lady showed up and unlocked the door. Internet Man came and Hallelujah! INTERNET WAS INSTALLED!

All in all, it took over 3 months to get internet installed. I’ve never experienced such a frustrating situation in my life. Obviously, I’ve been spoiled in the US as the average wait time is 2-3 days maybe at the most. I learned that patience is key and you can never have enough of it. Nothing comes easy in Germany, especially for foreigners. Instead, you will hear many neins/no’s in your lifetime living in Germany. I even wonder if the locals here are so conditioned to have inefficient/insufficient services that such things as this does not even phase them. The shock of this happening in a supposed first world country does still surprise me as customer service is a huge differentiating factor for Companies and is key for success; however, if the company is 30%+ owned by the government, I can see how service is not translated through. Urgency is not in their vocabulary. Otherwise, it is expected for you to wait because that is just how they operate here. On their own schedule and timeline. I spent much time with friends in the meantime, reading, praying for internet among other things, thinking about what and when I can blog, working out and dreaming of internet. I survived the longest time without internet at home so I guess that is quite an accomplishment?

Now onto the next challenge. Refuting the two additional charges that showed up on the bill for additional monthly services that were not ordered. Wish me luck. Or more patience.